Drama Club
by EverydayWeaboo
Summary: After a huge blunder sent Eren and his friends to the Principal's office, the gang is given a punishment they did not expect: to revive the school Drama Club. With the help of Professors Hange and Levi, they hope to present the best play the campus has ever seen. [Contains interviews with the club members.]
1. chapter 1

AN: Hello, everyone! So this is my new fanfiction, Drama Club! This story has actually been sitting on my phone for a while now; I wrote this some time this month, and I initially wanted to upload this after finishing my other fanfic, Temporary Bliss. But my impatient side came out, and I didn't want to waste the idea, so while I'm still in the mood (and to keep myself writing. Practice makes perfect!), I decided that nah, scratch that, I'll put this up.

So this is rated T although there might be offensive jokes and dialogue plus some sexual implications (though I really don't think it warrants a M). But just to be clear, though, there won't be any smut in here — I never could make myself write that, no matter how hard I try — so yeah. I decided to write this humorous (at least, on my view) fic because I really need some happiness in my life right now. This is pure crack, and ridiculous beyond reality. Don't worry, this won't interfere with Temporary Bliss. I already worked out a schedule.

Anyway, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan.

Chapter 1: First Day Shenanigans

"Tell me again how you all managed to set half the gymnasium on fire?"

Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Annie, Sasha, Connie, Hitch, and Marlowe were all cramped inside the tiny office of the Principal, their shoulders touching as they sat on the only available couch in the room. Everyone was quiet, and Armin looked like he was close to tears. Hitch made a disgusted face as she was squeezed between Marlowe and Sasha, while Mikasa glared at the wall as if it had offended her.

After a few minutes of silence, Eren looked over to where Hitch was, pointing a finger before saying firmly: "It was her fault."

"Seriously, Jaeger?" she said flatly. She crossed her arms. "Pointing? What do you think this is, fuckin' kindergarten?"

Connie laughed. "Eren is a kid."

"You're not helping, Connie," said Armin.

"See? She's that bad; she even swore in front of you, sir!" said Eren eagerly, ignoring Connie and turning around to face the principal.

Principal Erwin Smith sighed. He rubbed his temples and said, "Stop accusing people, Mr. Jaeger. The way I see it, all of you are at fault here. Also, please refrain from using foul language when you're in my presence, Ms. Dreyse."

Hitch huffed. "Yeah, whatever."

"So, like I said, how on earth did you set fire on the gymnasium?" he repeated. "On the very first day of classes, too."

"Um, well," said Eren, scratching the back of his head.

"We were trying to stop Hitch and Marlowe from pulling a prank on Armin, sir, and we ended up knocking alcohol all over the school banner, and Hitch, being the idiot that she is, dropped a cigarette lighter over it." explained Annie in full speed.

"FYI, I only dropped the lighter because Jaeger here tried to get it from me. And then Ackerman decided she would help him, so it turned into an all-out brawl until we didn't realize the lighter had slipped from our grasp and went flying straight into the banner." clarified Hitch.

"It won't change the fact that you tried to prank Armin," said Annie coolly. "And that you had a cigarette lighter with you inside campus, which, if I remember correctly, is supposed to be prohibited."

"Wow Annie, I didn't know you read the school handbook," said Sasha, amazed.

"I didn't," she replied.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Annie ***

 **Annie: When you're in a relationship with the school's valedictorian and class president, you tend to learn boring stuff — like it's completely wrong to use the handicap stall in the first floor restroom. Still didn't stop us from making out in there, though. Hey, I'm technically the campus's first lady, so I have certain privileges.**

"Did it also say in the handbook that clean-freak nerds are not allowed inside the gym?" said Hitch. "If Arlert hadn't been too busy washing his hands with alcohol while walking, there wouldn't have been a fire in the first place. No alcohol, no combustion!"

"Yeah, blame science," commented Armin dryly. "You do know that cloth is highly combustible, regardless whether or not it had been soaked in alcohol —"

"Blah, blah, and more blah."

"Oh, go die in a fire, Hitch."

"Let's stack up handbooks and burn them!"

"Like Bonfire Night."

"Enough!"

"You should all be reading the handbook," said a voice from behind them, making them all jump. "If you did, you shitty brats wouldn't be in this situation right now."

Professor Levi Ackerman had just entered the room along with Professors Hange Zoe and Petra Ral. They took the three stools behind Principal Erwin's desk and sat there, eyeing the students. Looked like they were finished clearing out the gym, thought Eren. He felt queasy. Judging from the looks on the others' faces, they felt the same.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Eren ***

 **Eren: Kids, remember this: the more teachers involved, the more fucked up you are. So when those three came in, I knew we screwed up big time.**

"Sir, I admit we did intend to prank Arlert, but —" Marlowe began.

"I feel so betrayed right now," said Hitch.

He ignored her. "But we never thought it would end up like that. We never wanted to destroy anything. It was just for laughs…at least, at first. We're terribly sorry."

"Huh," said Annie, unconvinced. "Armin's hands have some burns in them, idiot. Do you think that's funny?"

"It was his fault!" said Marlowe. "He tried to put out the flames using his bare hands!"

"I panicked!" said Armin defensively.

"No shit, Sherlock," piped up Professor Ackerman. "When we arrived, you were too busy crying over your hands to even stop Springer from putting out the fire using his varsity jacket."

"I did what I could," said Connie.

"You were fanning the damn fire, Springer," he said.

"Levi, watch your mouth," the Principal reprimanded.

"Hah! Scolded." said Professor Zoe, grinning. Levi glared at her.

"Now, now," said Professor Ral. She smiled kindly at them. "What's done is done. Let's all stop blaming each other, shall we? Why don't we all forgive each other and behave like good students from now on."

"Ma'am, you are an angel!" cried Sasha.

"But what do we do with them?" asked Professor Zoe. "Suspend them?"

"Seems like the best option," said Principal Smith. "But it is just the start of the school year. It's a shame if we have to suspend these many students at the first day of classes."

"Perhaps we should call their parents and put this on their records. After all, they do need to pay for the damage. That would teach them a lesson." suggested Professor Ackerman.

"What?" said Armin, standing up. No, they can't do that. He had no parents, and his grandfather doesn't really earn much. He'd be disappointed when he hears the news. Besides, Armin needed his record clean; he was planning on studying in a prestigious college once he graduated. "No, please, no."

Professor Ackerman raised an eyebrow. "But we need to discuss this with them. Rules are rules, Mr. Arlert. As class president, you should know that."

Armin looked like he was going to cry. Tears threatened to spill from the corners of his eyes, and his friends looked at him with sympathy. Eren and Mikasa knew how much his reputation and grades meant to him — they'd watched him struggle through school ever since first grade, after all. Also, it made them guilty. Armin had tried to stop them from going after Hitch and Marlowe, but they didn't listen.

Annie spoke up. "Please leave Armin out of this. Put it on my record if you want. I'll even call my dad and ask him to pay for the damage."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Petra and Levi ***

 **Petra: No one really knows how Armin and Annie got together. The school nerd and the campus ice queen. I guess it's "opposites attract" and all that jazz. I mean, she could carry a ten kilogram sack without breaking a sweat while Armin could barely lift a thick book.**

 **Levi: It was truly a match made in heaven. Although I'm pretty sure the gender roles are reversed.**

 **Petra: Everyone can't believe it. I remember the school newspaper creating a poll on how Annie got Armin as her boyfriend. I forgot which choice won. Do you?**

 **Levi: Yeah. 87% voted for 'death threat'.**

"Yeah," agreed Eren. "Write it down our records all you want, but Armin did nothing."

The others — besides Hitch and Marlowe, of course — nodded their agreement. The professors looked at Principal Smith, waiting.

"Hmm," he said. "You are our best student, but I'm sorry, we can't make an exception for you. It would be unfair to everyone else here. And besides, Professor Ackerman is right — there's still the payment we have to talk about."

Professor Zoe looked at the kids with pity. How could they pay for the damage without involving their parents? Suddenly, her face lit up and she shouted: "Lightbulb!"

"Gods no," muttered Professor Ackerman. "Who are you, fucking Gru?"

"Shut up, Bilbo Baggins," she said. " Hah. References. Principal Smith, I have a suggestion."

"What is it?"

"Please let them join the Drama Club."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Hange ***

 **Hange: I've been trying to revive the Drama Club for almost three years now. The last time they performed was about five years ago, when they had to be disbanded due to the fact that someone thought it was a good idea to swing from the ceiling using one of the headlights. It didn't go well. I am pretty sure three people ended up in the hospital. But I believe now's the time for a fresh start!**

"Pardon?" said Hitch. "Did you just say Drama Club?"

"Hange, I already told you —" said the Principal, but she cut him off.

"Hear me out. Every year, the school does a fund-raising project, right? What if we do a play this year? That way, they earn the money to pay the damage through hard work. Also, it would teach them teamwork and responsibility — the school and their fate is resting on this, after all." she explained. "I'll be their adviser. I will personally make sure that they do it right."

"Like that's any assurance," said Professor Ackerman.

"No blowing up of things, I promise!" replied Professor Hange, putting a hand over her heart.

"I think it's great," put in Professor Ral.

"Drama Club," said Annie dully. "I think I'd rather empty my dad's bank account paying this school rather than joining that shit."

"For once, I agree with dead-eye here." said Hitch.

"Also, we have other things to think of. Eren and I are on the basketball team, Sasha has cheer leading practices, and Armin has, uh, nerd activities." said Connie.

"Math Club, Debate Team, Student Council meetings —" said Armin.

"Yeah, that stuff."

Eren nodded. "We're really not the acting type."

"Know what? I think I like the idea." said Professor Ackerman suddenly.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Levi ***

 **Levi: I wasn't actually a fan of the idea, but an opportunity to get Jaeger to embarrass himself in front of the whole school? I can't pass that up, especially since he's been getting too cuddly with my niece lately.**

"Uncle," said Mikasa. "I thought you hated theater."

"One: you will call me Professor at school, Mikasa; two: I do like theater, because if I didn't, would I watch High-5 with you when you were a kid? Three: Professor Zoe is right."

"Thank you, Levi."

"And High-5 isn't theater."

"Grown-up people in colorful costumes singing songs and talking to puppets? Speak for yourself, Mikasa."

Principal Smith cleared his throat loudly. "It looks like Professor Zoe might be up to something here. It is true that we have not yet decided which fundraiser to do this year, and I do think that you kids need a lesson."

"Will our records be clean if we agree?" asked Armin.

"If you succeed and reach the required amount of money to fix the gym, then yes, you will be record-free." answered the Principal.

"I'm in."

"What?" said Annie, looking at him. "Armin, you have never acted in front of an audience before."

Armin opened his mouth to respond.

"Your YouTube tutorials don't count. Teaching people how to memorize the Periodic Table of Elements in three easy steps isn't acting."

Armin closed his mouth.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Armin ***

 **Armin: Yeah, I do YouTube tutorials. I have ten thousand subscribers at the moment. But that's not all I do; I also do live reactions. Annie even joins me sometimes (although she always puts her hood up to cover her face). I also let her be my site moderator — she keeps the spoilers away. Best girlfriend ever.**

Mikasa shook her head. If her uncle was aboard the plan, then she can't really say no. She was pretty sure he would rat her out to her parents if she refused. If they knew about what happened, they'd ground her, and she wouldn't be able to see Eren for, what, a week? The thought was unbearable.

"If Armin's in it, then I am too," she piped up. Her uncle smiled at her in a way that could only be described as shit-eating.

"M-Mikasa, are you sure?" asked Eren. She stared at him and nodded. He sighed. "Fine. I'll do it."

"Me too, then." chirped Annie.

"The others?" asked the Principal.

Sasha shrugged. "I'm cool with it."

"Yeah, sure." said Connie.

Hitch rolled her eyes and gestured to Marlowe. "Like we have a choice."

Principal Smith nodded. "It's settled, then. The Drama Club is officially established."

Professor Zoe clapped. "Hell yeah — I mean, good." she looked at them over her round glasses. "We are going to have so much fun!"

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Eren ***

 **Eren: I highly doubt that. Sure, we wanted to get Armin out of it at first, but now that we're finally starting Drama Club, we all blame him.**

"Drama Club?"

"Yes," replied Eren to his mother. "Armin, Mikasa, Annie, and I are joining."

"I never thought you had dreams of being an actor." she said as she set the table.

"I did too." he said sadly.

The four of them were in Eren's living room, spending some free time; they had been dismissed early due to the incident. Armin was reading on the floor, his highlighter in hand. Annie sat next to him, munching on a Mars bar and switching channels on the television. Mikasa laid on the couch, her arm draped over her eyes. Eren poked her side.

"What's up with you?" he asked.

"I'm going to kill my uncle." she said simply.

He laughed. "Just give as a heads up so we wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly turns up dead."

She gave a thumbs up. "Will do."

"So Drama Club," said Annie. She shut down the TV. "Obviously, we need to perform something good enough to earn a considerable amount of money."

"The only thing people watch these days is anything with big boobs in them," said Eren.

"Looks like Mikasa needs to wear a two-piece then." said Annie.

"I'll only do it if you do, too."

"I have like, size two breasts."

"There's a miracle called foam."

"No way."

"Annie's body is perfectly alright, thank you very much," said Armin, not looking up from his book.

Eren said teasingly, "You of all people should know that."

"I'm pretty sure I'd stab your eyes out if you know it better than me, Eren." he replied.

"That's pretty dark."

"Anyway, it doesn't really matter. We have to put up something decent. I don't have any experience in acting, and this is against my will, but I don't want to embarrass myself."

"Too late," said Annie in a singsong voice.

"It didn't look like it was 'against your will' back in the office." quipped Mikasa.

"I did what was best for all of us!" countered Armin.

"Still won't stop me from doing this," said Eren, holding up his middle finger.

"Aww," said Armin. "Best friends forever, right?"

"I want to kill you. Can I, Annie?"

"No. You can beat him up, though."

"Sweetie!"

"Don't even call me that."

"Honey?"

"Say another word and I'll help Eren beat you."

"No beatings," Mrs. Jaeger's voice drifted from the kitchen. "I don't want blood over my new table cloth."

"Fuck the table cloth." muttered Eren.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Mikasa ***

 **Mikasa: Looks like we really are going to do a play. It seemed mortifying at first, sure, but I guess it isn't all that bad. We just have to say some lines and use plastic props, right? It shouldn't be so hard.**

 **[Hange's voice comes in the background] : Mikasa? Where are you? The new costumes are here, and wow, what's this stuff — aaaah! Dammit Sasha, I told you to bring artificial fog, not frogs! And live ones, too!**

 **Mikasa: You know what, forget it. This is definitely going to be a failure.**


	2. Chapter Two

AN: And I am back! Thank you for all the favorites, follows, and reviews, especially to cloud-san, GrandCactusMan, and LunaBloom who left such wonderful feedbacks. I'm glad you liked this story's first chapter, and believe me, it'll only get crazier from here on. So without further ado, let's start!

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan.

Chapter Two: Welcome to the Club!

Eren was busy putting up flyers which read, _Go join the Drama Club, where we laugh, cry and act like nobody's business!_ all over campus that morning, which really helped sour his mood. He was pretty sure that the slogan Hange had come up with sounded more like an endorsement of a mental facility rather than a club for theater-loving kids, but he was too annoyed to tell it to her.

"Oh Eren, I'm so glad I found you! You're just what I need!" she had said that morning. She shoved a bunch of papers to his arms. "You wouldn't mind putting these all around campus, would you? No? Great! I'll leave you then."

"Wait! What does this mean, 'join'?" he asked. "Eight people is not enough?"

Professor Zoe laughed. "Of course not, silly. We'll be doing a full production, and eight unwilling kids won't be able to pull it off. Besides, I want to give everyone a chance to show off their acting skills! So do me a favor and spread those, will you?"

"But — " he began, but she cut him

off.

"Well, will you look at that, I'm really late for class. Gotta go, there's still a frog waiting to be dissected!" she said, leaving him with all those papers.

 _Being kind sucks_ , thought Eren, as he taped another paper to the school bulletin board.

"Hey Jaeger!"

Eren sighed. He knew who that voice belonged to. As he turned, he came face-to-face with Jean, the wealthiest (and in his opinion, shittiest) kid at school. He grinned at Eren as he adjusted his navy blue tie, which was hanging loosely around his collar. Who wears a fucking tie in school? Only pompous dickheads like Jean, apparently. The mere sight of him made Eren want to jump off the building and die — preferably with him along.

"What do you want?" he asked coolly.

Jean raised an eyebrow. "What's this?"

He was holding up one of the Drama Club's flyers, and Eren growled, snatching it away from him.

"I didn't know you liked acting, Jaeger," said Jean, smiling maliciously. "I didn't even know that you had any talent."

"I'm just not like you Jean, doing all those things like ballet or playing the violin or whatever gay shit you do back in France."

"France isn't gay."

"When it comes to you, it is."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Jean ***

 **Jean: Yes, I am from France, and yes, I am filthy rich. Last summer, my parents and I went to the Caribbean for vacation. I didn't want to mix with all the other lowlifes, so I threw a fit and ended up having my own private island. I like to show my money off to all these plebeians, namely Eren Jaeger, who I believe can't afford even a sleeve of my designer shirt.**

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Eren ***

 **Eren: If there's a French word for asshole, it's Jean. I remember the first time we met. I had asked him for help on a French assignment we had, and instead of teaching me how to say, "You're beautiful" to our teacher, I ended up saying "You're full of shit, old hag" without even knowing it. Since then, we've been sworn enemies. Also, he's been trying to woo Mikasa for some time now, and that in my book is a clear declaration of war.**

"Good morning, Eren," said Mikasa. She was with Armin, who was — to Eren's horror — wearing a tie underneath a cotton vest.

"Aww, Armin, you're not supposed to be a pompous dickhead," said Eren. He shot a look at Jean and moved closer to Mikasa.

"Huh?" said Armin, confused.

Jean cleared his throat, blushing. "Hello, Mikasa."

She turned her eyes on him. "Oh. Hi Jean, I didn't see you there. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, um," he stuttered. "I —"

Eren watched as Jean tried to form a coherent sentence, and just then, a thought struck his mind and he shouted: "Lightbulb!"

Mikasa looked at him. "Professor Zoe's rubbing off on you. Anyway, what were you saying, Jean?"

"Actually, Mikasa, Jean was just asking me how to join the Drama Club," said Eren suddenly. He saw Jean's face turn dark, and he smirked. _Hah_. _Got you._ "He saw one of these flyers and told me he was interested in joining."

"Really?" asked Armin. "That's great. We need additional members, so it would really help if you tag along."

"Oh. Uh, well, if Mikasa's doing it, then maybe I could —"

"Sweet. Meet us at Room 204 after classes, okay?"

With that, Mikasa grabbed Eren's hand and walked off, leaving a flustered and angry Jean behind. Armin followed them with an amused smile. As they turned a corridor leading towards their first class, Mikasa said, "He didn't really want to join, did he?"

"Yeah," said Eren, stuffing the remaining flyers inside his backpack. "I kind of put him on the spot."

She laughed and kissed his cheek. "I know."

Eren grinned at her before giving his best friend a strange look. "And seriously, Armin, get rid of that tie."

 *** An excerpt with an interview with Armin ***

 **Armin: I knew I shouldn't have worn the one with pumpkin designs. On my defense, my grandfather had forced me to — he said, and I quote, "You'll look like a sure winner."**

"Welcome," said Professor Zoe. She paced in the front of the room slowly, waving her hands in the air and gasping from time to time. She crouched low, and in a mysterious voice added, "Today is the Drama Club's first meeting, where you shall be introduced to theater's greatest and most magnificent secrets! Here you will learn how to act, how to sing, and most importantly, how to captivate the audience. When the time comes and you get invited to SNL, remember that it was Drama Club that helped you get where you are. Let's begin!"

No one reacted to her dramatic monologue. Instead, the members exchanged uneasy glances, obviously wanting to get the hell out of there. Connie kept on throwing crumpled paper at the back of Armin's head as Sasha laughed quietly beside him, her pompoms in hand. Hitch and Marlowe sat at the last row, their expressions bored. Mikasa and Eren played rock, paper, scissors, and Eren was losing drastically. A crumpled paper missed Armin and hit Annie, who was next to him. She turned around and gave Connie the good 'ol stare of doom.

Aside from the eight of them who had been forced to form the club, there were actually others who came and signed up, including an arrogant looking Jean. One of them was Christa, Armin's younger sister, along with a tall girl with black hair tied back in a short ponytail. Another one was a freckled guy who wore the most crisp polo anyone has ever seen; there was a girl with two pigtails who was smiling widely; a couple who looked like their faces were glued together permanently; and Reiner and Bertholdt, Annie's childhood friends.

"Okay!" said Professor Zoe brightly. She sat on a chair facing them. "I suppose we should start by laying out all the ground rules. First, you can all call me Hange as long as we are inside this room. Second, you cannot bring alcohol —"

"But I use it to disinfect!" chirped Armin.

"I mean liquor, Armin."

"Oh."

"What? No drinks?" the tall girl with Christa said. "Your flyers never said anything about that!"

"It's because it would cost me too much if I put the all the policies and regulations in the flyers. Printing is not cheap, children."

Everyone groaned.

"So no alcohol, no cigarettes, and especially no pot in my club, understood?" Hange continued.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Connie ***

 **Connie: And I thought this couldn't get any worse [throws away a six-pack beer and some cigarettes to the trash can]. Fuck this club.**

"And, since it's the first day, I want you all to please form a circle and introduce yourselves to your fellow actors." she finished.

There was a loud scraping of chairs as they all pulled their seats towards the middle of the room. They made a big, deformed circle, with Hange at the center. She smiled pleasantly at them, but no one returned the favor. She pulled a box labeled 'Props' next to her and rummaged around it until she found what she was looking for. Sitting up, she raised the water gun for all of them to see.

"Ta-da!" she announced proudly. "First I will introduce myself, and then I will shoot the person I want to go next. Understood?"

"Why do we need a water gun?" asked Hitch. "We could just go around the circle and state our names one by one like normal people."

"But you aren't normal," said Hange. "To me, you are all special. Like snowflakes."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Okay!" said Hange loudly. "Me first. I am Professor Hange Zoe, and I will be your club advisor. I hope we can all work together to perform the best play this town has ever seen!"

She pulled the plastic trigger, and the gun squirted a small amount of liquid to Armin's shirt. Armin bent down and sniffed his clothes, complaining, "Why is it filled with beer?"

"Oops," said Connie. "Sorry. I had to abide to the ground rules, so I kind of poured all my stash into anything available here."

"There's beer all over my bag!"

"Why did you pour it on my make-up kit?"

"What the fuck, Connie! Why is there some coming from the ceiling?"

"Neat! Let me have some!"

"Fucking shit," said Armin, as he pulled his stained vest over his head and threw it on the other side of the room. "And that was one of my favorites, too."

Hange dropped the water gun. "Let's all just say our names."

After they had finished introducing themselves and put a bucket under the spot where the beer continued to drip from the ceiling, the new members sat on the floor, listening as Hange explained their plan for the upcoming fundraising event. The tall girl with Christa was named Ymir; the freckled guy was Marco; the pigtail girl was Mina; the couple was Franz and Hannah; and to complete them were Reiner, Bertholdt and Jean.

"The fundraising event will be held in March, which is the school's 75th founding anniversary," said Hange. "We still have a couple of months left to practice, and I picked a relatively famous play for us to do, something that you are all familiar with. We will be doing Romeo and Juliet!"

"That dumb shit where two lovers commit suicide?" asked Annie.

"Yes," replied Hange. "And it isn't dumb. It's a classic."

"Classically stupid," she said.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Christa ***

 **Christa: Romeo and Juliet! It's my favorite play, and I hope I get to be picked as Juliet. It has always been my dream to become a theater actress. When I was six, I auditioned for the role of Mulan, but they turned me down. I guess it was because I stumbled on some of my lines, and my classmate, Mei Liu got the role instead. But now, I'm sure it's my time to shine.**

"Our agenda for today is to hand out different character roles," she said. "As well as appointing a director, assistant director, props man, etcetera. Of course I have to see your acting skills first, and for that, I prepared a very interesting exercise which I call 'Show me how it looks!'"

"Sounds like a game straight out of Ellen," commented Ymir dryly.

"I love Ellen," said Reiner. "Don't you, Christa?"

"We don't talk gorilla, sorry, " said Ymir, putting an arm around Christa.

"The rules are simple," said Hange. "If I shout 'Horrified!', you all have to act like you _really_ are horrified. This way, I can pick out those who has the natural ability to act."

"First off — bored!" she shouted. Hange studied them and said, "Ahh. Everyone's competitive."

"No, we really are just bored," said Hitch.

"Nonsense," said Hange. "Now, weak and hopeless!"

Christa pretended to faint while Sasha hobbled like an old woman. Hannah fell into Franz's arms and closed her eyes. Jean tried to act scared, but all he managed to do was look constipated. Hange observed them, a hand to her chin.

She clapped her hands. "That's it! That's exactly what I'm talking about, Armin!"

"But I'm not doing anything," he said.

"Weak and hopeless is like his default state," said Hitch, grinning.

"Back off, Hitch," warned Annie.

"Now, now," placated Hange. "Let's try again, shall we? How about… in love!"

Every couple in the room started kissing.

 *** An except from an interview with Reiner ***

 **Reiner: Yeah, we know we're single. Way to rub it in our faces.**

The couples pulled apart and everyone turned their heads around to see Professor Ackerman standing by the door, a few books in hand. His eyes roamed across the room and finally settled on Mikasa, whose face was still dangerously closed to Eren. He scowled.

"Detention, Jaeger," he said.

"But I didn't do anything!"

"Exactly."

"Well hello, Levi," said Hange. "What brings you here?"

He shrugged. "I just came here to see what you're up to."

Hange smiled. "We're doing great."

"Ah-huh," he said, obviously unconvinced. "Wow. This room is so full of stereotypes, it might as well be a fucking sitcom." he pointed at Marco. "There's the nice guy —" he turned his finger to Armin, "— the nerd —" Levi gestured to Jean, "— the douchebag —" he looked at Hitch. " — and the bitch."

"Hitch the Bitch," Sasha laughed.

"We are not stereotypes," said Ymir. "A stereotype would be a dumb blond, but Sasha's a brunette."

"Yeah," said Marlowe. "We're all unique in our own way."

Levi raised eyebrow. "Look at you. It's obvious that you watch dubbed anime."

"What's wrong with dub? Johnny Yong Bosch is a legend," he said.

"Huh. And I bet you have a poster of Sasuke signed by Yuri Lowenthal," said Levi.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Marlowe ***

 **Marlowe: I knew the school newspaper took pictures of my room. Damn them.**

"Levi, could you please stop harassing the students for a moment? We're trying to give out roles here," said Hange. Levi nodded and took a chair for himself. "First off, I think Armin should be the director, since he has the leadership skills and the brains to memorize the script in a day. Those who agree, raise your hand."

Everyone put up their hands. Armin blushed and smiled sheepishly. Hange nodded to him, saying, "I'll be counting on you, Armin. Now, being director is a tough job, so you will need someone to assist you. Who should —"

"I volunteer," called Annie.

"Oh yeah?" piped up Ymir. "Why should you be assistant director?"

Annie raised her eyebrows. "Because I'm the director's girlfriend. Duh."

Hange nodded. "That makes sense."

"No, it doesn't," said Bertholdt in a depressed voice. "Nothing in this class makes sense."

"Yeah," agreed Sasha, who was sitting next to him. "Like, what's a whiteboard doing here? We aren't going to be solving math equations."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Ymir ***

 **Ymir: I sometimes wonder how Sasha reached highschool — no, scratch that. I wonder how she even got through first grade.**

"Oookay," said Marco, as the others gave Sasha weird looks, trying to decide whether she was kidding or not. "I guess we all agree that Annie should be assistant director."

Annie glared at all of them, as if daring them to speak. When no one protested, she smiled smugly and stood next to Armin at the front.

Hange clapped and said, "Let's give it up for Annie and Armin!"

No one cheered.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Annie***

 **Annie: Being assistant director has its perks. Not only do I not get to participate in any character role, but I also get to order people around. Seeing Connie run around in shiny red tights all day spouting cheesy Shakespearean lines is always a treat. It also doesn't hurt that Armin and I could insult — I mean, criticize — them all we want without them talking back. (Smiles)Yeah, being assistant director is fun.**

"Then I want to be Juliet!" said Christa.

"And why should you get the lead role?" asked Mina.

"Because I'm the director's sister?" she said hopefully.

"This is bullshit," said Jean. "We can't just give out roles to every person who wants them."

Hange pointed at him. "You're right. Sasha, you be Juliet, and Jean, you're going to be our Romeo."

"What?" he sputtered. "That's not what I meant!"

"No, it's perfect, Jean," said Sasha. "You're French, so it suits you."

"Romeo and Juliet is set in Italy, Sasha."

"Shouldn't a real couple be Romeo and Juliet?" said Hannah. "Like, maybe, us? Franz and I have undeniable chemistry, if you still haven't noticed yet."

"You failed your last chemistry test, so I don't know what you're talking about."

"Fuck you."

At the end, it was decided that Sasha and Jean would be playing the role of the star-crossed lovers, while the Capulet and his wife would be Bertholdt and Ymir, and the Montagues would be Franz and Hannah. Marco was to be Friar Lawrence. Mina got to be the nurse, while Christa would be acting as Rosaline. Tybalt, Mercutio and Benvolio would be played by Eren, Reiner and Connie respectively. Paris would be Marlowe, while Mikasa and Hitch would be in charge of the costumes and props.

Hange beamed at them. "Wonderful! There are still some roles we haven't given out yet, since we're out of people, but so far, I'm pleased with the arrangements."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Sasha ***

 **Sasha: Well guess who got the lead role? This chick right here. Fuck yeah! Give me a S! Give me an A! Give me a S! Give me an H! Give —**

 **Annie: Give me some peace.**


	3. Chapter Three

AN: And I'm back! Sorry if the update is kind of late, but I was very busy with school this week, and a lot of other things happened, so I figured I'd update both Drama Club and Temporary Bliss today. Anyway, thank you LunaBloom for another review (you've been reviewing Drama Club and Temporary Bliss so faithfully that I can't put into words how grateful I am to you). Also, welcome to this fic, TheCrazyAnimeFanO1 and ThalioTP! You are awesome, and I hope you enjoy the ride.

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan. I do own my OCs, though. No one can take them away from me.

Chapter Three: Changing Status

"Cut! What the fuck, Jean? You call that acting? You sound like Severus Snape reading the fucking audio book for Romeo and Juliet. And Sasha, please explain why Juliet would be holding a pack of Cheetos while waiting for Romeo in the balcony."

"She was hungry! _I_ was hungry!"

"Yeah, I bet you are. And you know who else is hungry? Me! We've been practicing the same scene for about two goddamn hours, and my stomach is about flip over itself from hunger. But am I holding a pack of Cheetos right now? Fuck no! I am literally eating the contaminated air surrounding me right now, and I did not for one fucking second complain."

"Annie," said Armin, wincing. He glanced at Sasha, who had tears gathering at the corners of her eyes, and Jean, who looked like he was trying not to punch Annie in the face. "Calm down. You've had too much coffee today —"

"Calm down? You want me to calm down?" she asked, her eyes wild. "Well, Armin, if you still haven't noticed, we've been stuck in this room for almost five fucking hours now, listening to these talentless dipshits recite lines that they should have memorized a long time ago. But no — these dumb assholes are still holding the goddamn scripts, reading off it like some motherfucking toddlers. I am done. I am fucking done."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Christa ***

 **Christa: We've been practicing for almost a month now, and let's just say that things aren't going as well as we thought it would. Basically, everyone's stressed out, and when that happens, curses come flying around like we're in some freaking Harry Potter spin-off.**

"Annie, I really think you should take a break," said Christa gently.

"A break? So now I get to have a fucking break?"

"We're giving you a break, so just take it," said Ymir. "No one asked you to work your ass off, anyway."

"Hah. So it was my fault that I'm tired? Is that what you're saying, Ymir? Well maybe you'd be tired, too, if you honestly acted like a real goddamn actress. Just so you know, you're scenes were so cringe-worthy it could give ANTM a run for its money."

"Annie, please," said Armin, placing a hand to her shoulder. Ymir stood up and cracked her knuckles. "You're going to get yourself in trouble."

"Yeah, Annie. Just stop. You've been harassing all of us these past few days, and we can't take it any longer." said Hannah.

"Hannah," said Annie, "look at my palm. What's in there?"

"Nothing."

"Those are all the fucks I give."

 *** An excerpt with an interview with Armin ***

 **Armin: Whenever Annie gets very frustrated and angry she tends to be, uh… creative with her language.**

"Alright, this is bullshit," said Franz, stepping forward. "You don't talk that way to Hannah, or to anyone else here."

"Guys, let's all just chill out, okay?" Eren interfered, walking over on stage and putting himself between the actors and Annie. "We're almost done —"

"Oh yeah?" yelled Jean. "You know who else is done? I am! I have to wear this fucking tights all day and listen to you —" he pointed an accusing finger at Annie, "go on and on about how talentless we are while sipping coffee like some rundown version of motherfucking Sharpay Evans! Well, newsflash, look who's not a part of the cast: you! All you do is sit there all day and whine like a little bitch!"

"Really?" said Annie, her voice dangerously low. "Say that again."

"I said, you look like a cheap version of a motherfucking High School Musical character —"

"That's fucking it. You're going down, you piece of French shit."

"Annie, no!"

Armin tried to grab Annie's arm, but she was too fast, and the next thing he knew she had already climbed on stage and was making her way towards the makeshift balcony where Sasha and Jean stood. Jean frantically pulled the ladder up so Annie wouldn't reach them, so she settled herself with standing below them, kicking the props with all her might.

"Get down here, you dickless horse-faced shit!" she screamed.

Reiner and Bertholdt walked over to her and grabbed both her arms. "Come on, Annie," said Reiner. "Let's get you out of here."

"Let me go, Reiner," she said. She glared at him when his grip didn't loosen.

"Sorry, I can't," he replied. "Off you go."

"Armin?" she asked, turning to him.

Armin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Annie, but I think it's probably best if you leave for now."

Annie looked hurt. Armin stood up and picked up the empty cans of coffee piled on her seat. He walked over to where she was and said, "You're not yourself anymore. You're stressed. Why don't you go and have a short breather while we finish things here?"

Her arms went limp, and Reiner and Bertholdt released her. She quietly picked up her bag and nodded to Armin before heading towards the door. A relieved sigh escaped from the group when Annie had finally left, and Armin went around the cast apologizing. He didn't notice the stray coffee can rolling off the stage, though, and he accidentally stepped on it, making him lose his balance.

Armin grabbed the first thing he could put his hands on, which happened to be the fake balcony. He caught the thin, white cloth covering the fragile woodwork and clutched it tightly. The entire thing groaned with the sudden weight pulling at it, and to Armin's horror, it started to shift sideways.

"What is happening?" shouted Jean, as he and Sasha grabbed onto the railings.

The balcony tipped some more, and it was dangerously out of place now. Armin let go of the cloth, but it was too late — the whole thing creaked and began to fall.

"Help!" screamed Sasha.

The others rushed in to help them, but they couldn't get too close in fear of being crushed. They reached their hands out instead, yelling at Sasha and Jean to grab on to all of them, but suddenly a loud crack was heard, and everyone turned around to see one of the foundations snap.

"Jump!" shouted Marco.

"Are you kidding me?" asked Jean.

"You have no choice! Jump when you're close enough to the floor!" said Armin.

The balcony started falling apart, the wood breaking and bending as the whole thing toppled sideways. Panicked, Jean jumped as Mina and Marco tried to catch him from below. His landing was a little off, though; Marco only managed to catch his right arm, so the rest of Jean's body hit the floor with a sickening crunch.

"Oh! What the fuck!" said Jean, clutching his left arm and leg. "I think I broke my bones! Dammit! Ahhh!"

Fortunately, Sasha jumped just in time for Reiner to catch her. He put her down, and she looked scared but otherwise unharmed. They all watched and covered their ears as the balcony finally hit the edge of the stage and exploded in a fireworks of splintered wood.

The door opened and Mikasa and Hitch came in, carrying large boxes of what they assumed were more props. The two girls studied the scene before them, their eyes darting from the ruined setting to Jean's curled up figure on the stage, whimpering in pain.

Hitch raised an eyebrow. "What the hell happened here?"

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Eren ***

 **Eren: Well, that happened. Now we have a crippled Romeo, a shattered balcony, and an assistant director who's probably going insane. Yep. We are so screwed.**

Two Weeks Later

"Look at this." said Mina.

Annie looked up to see her friend standing before her, an annoyed look etched across her face. Her black hair wasn't tied in its usual two pigtails, and her make-up was hastily put on. She rarely saw Mina in such a disheveled state that Annie readily closed the book she was reading and listened to whatever it was she had to say.

"What is it?" she asked.

Mina shoved her phone right into Annie's face. "Look."

Annie took her phone and looked at whatever it was she was referring to. Mina had a tab named _Rose High Gazette_ opened, and the article that was showing on her screen had the caption "Meet Rose High's New Bunch of Misfits" along with a picture of her pounding the fake balcony and Jean clutching Sasha in fear as the others looked on, wearing their flimsy costumes. Intrigued, Annie read the news, which said:

 _The Drama Club, which has been abolished five years ago after an accident which sent three people to the hospital, are now back in business and is run by perhaps the strangest assortment of people. Armin Arlert, class president and aspiring valedictorian, is apparently the director of the club which includes ex-head cheerleader Mikasa Ackerman and also former member of the Rose High cheer squad, Annie Leonhardt._ _If that wasn't enough proof that the club should be dubbed the Loser Club rather than the Drama Club, they have even recruited the biggest downers in school including lesbian couple Christa and Ymir; an asthmatic girl named Mina; geek kid Marlowe; and hippies Reiner and Bertholdt. Even the inclusion of basketball team members Eren Jaeger and Connie Springer can't seem to save the Drama Club's pitiful image. Just a few weeks ago, we got an exclusive video footage of how things go down at their usual club meetings._

Annie played the video attached to the article. She watched herself verbally insult almost evey member of the club with her can of coffee in hand. She looked like she was inches away from a mental breakdown. As she stalked off, the video continued on to show the epic disaster that was the collapse of the fake balcony and Jean's demise.

Annie gritted her teeth and read the rest of the article:

 _It is believed that the Drama Club has been given the job to host this year's fundraising program, which will happen at the school's celebration of its 75th founding anniversary. It is a very important and historical event for Rose High, and after the recent disasters caused by the Drama Club, many people can't help but wonder: should we let a bunch of incompetent losers handle the job?_

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Annie ***

 **Annie: To the staff of the school newspaper, I hope you have all watched fucking Taken, because believe me when I say that I will find you and I will sure as hell kill you. You better make sure that your office has double locks, because I will kick down its door myself.**

Annie handed Mina back her phone and shot glares at the people passing by them. She was so pissed she was sure there was an almost visible black aura that was radiating off her. Just last week, they had all visited Jean at the hospital and Annie had apologized. Although he had a few unkind (and nose-bleeding French) words to say, they ended up forgiving each other, to which the Drama Club was thankful for. Everything had gone smoothly since then — aside from Hange almost losing her shit after seeing the shattered balcony — and they all decided that it was best if they helped each other memorize their scripts first.

Things were good, but the fucking Rose High Gazette just had to ruin everything. Now she knew why the students were giving her strange looks, sniggering behind their hands or sometimes outright laughing at her face. She wanted to punch someone, but she knew she was in enough trouble as it was, and she did not want to give the school newspaper more material.

The school bell rang, which meant that it was time for lunch. She and Mina watched as Ymir, Mikasa and Hitch came up to them, their faces sour. They had probably seen the article.

Mikasa studied the frown on Annie's face. "I assume you've already read it."

"Fuck them," said Ymir. "The school paper is trash."

Mikasa opened her mouth to respond, but Annie cut her off.

"Ymir's right. Let's just grab some lunch." said Annie.

"There's no table left," said Ymir. They stood at the far end of the cafeteria holding their lunch trays and surveying the tables around them. "Shit. I don't want to eat at the school steps like a fucking member of the math club."

"Hey, Armin's in the math club. But you're right — school steps doesn't sound great." said Annie. She raised her eyebrows and pointed at the center of the cafeteria. "That table's vacant."

"Annie," said Mikasa. "You know who that table belongs to, right?"

"I do," replied Annie, nodding. "But I'm hungry and there is no way I am going to eat anywhere without tables. So really, I don't really care for any goddamn rules right now, Mikasa."

Mikasa sighed. "Fine. And besides —" she smiled slightly at her. "I kind of missed that table."

"Fuck yeah, you did. Now let's go."

The four of them made to their way towards the empty table, and they noticed with annoyance that everyone were giving them funny looks. One guy even had the nerve to point at them and do a mock imitation of falling down on stage, much to his friends' entertainment. Annie ignored them and plopped down on the small bench, setting her lunch tray down with her. Mina sat beside her, facing Mikasa and Ymir.

"What's with them?" asked Mina, indicating the people around them.

"It's probably because we're sitting at the forbidden table right now," answered Ymir as she took a bite of her pizza. "And that we were just labeled as the new set of losers at school. Almost forgot about that."

"Forbidden table?" said Mina, confused.

"Yeah," said Annie. "The people who sit here are —"

"Well, what do we have here?." said a high-pitched voice behind them. "Mikasa Ackerman and Annie Leonhardt along with two, unidentified girls."

"My name's Mina."

"Thanks for answering the question I never asked."

"What do you want, Shay?" asked Annie flatly.

The strawberry haired girl looked at her with distaste. She noticed that along with Shay were her best friends Natalie and Drake. They flanked Shay as if they were her personal bodyguards, and if Annie hadn't known better, she would have believed it. But the person that caught their attention was Rico, Rose High Gazette's editor-in-chief, standing behind the cheerleaders, her glasses glinting from the sunlight coming from the cafeteria's large windows. She wore the traditional brown and white Rose High cheer squad uniform.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Mikasa ***

 **Mikasa: Well, looks like someone got a membership into the cheer squad by slandering people.**

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Rico ***

 **Rico: So I released an article about the Drama Club in order to get into the cheer squad. So what? It wasn't like I wrote down anything that wasn't true. Besides, look at this uniform.**

"What do I want? If you still hadn't noticed, you and your bitch friends are sitting at our lunch table." replied Shay.

"I don't see your name in here," said Mikasa, making a show of studying the table's edge. She shrugged. "This looks like fair game to me."

"Ackerman, everybody in this school knows that this table belongs to us," she said. She gave them a wicked smile. "So please, do me a favor and go."

"We're not going anywhere," said Ymir.

"Who the fuck are you?" said Rico.

"Just someone who wants to eat her lunch in peace."

"If you want peace, you should leave now." put in Shay.

"Was that a threat?" asked Mikasa.

"No. It was an order."

"Who the fuck appointed you as principal?" asked Annie.

"Very funny, Leonhardt," said Shay. "Just because your boyfriend is class president doesn't mean you can act like the goddamn first lady. Look around you — this school is not a democracy."

"What is it, then? A fucking monarchy?"

"You could say that. I am the queen, after all."

"Only at prom, Shay. If you still hadn't noticed, there aren't any fairy lights hanging around and no one's wearing a goddamn gown."

Hitch laughed. "Good one, Annie."

Shay sneered. "Okay, that's it. Get your fucking asses off my table right now."

"Sorry, we can't," said Mikasa. "We still haven't finished our lunches yet. You understand, do you?"

"Do I look like I care, Mikasa? Now fuck off."

"No, you fuck off, Shay. We sat here first, and there is no written rule here in school that only you and your squad could use this table."

"What's going on here?" asked Jean. He limped his way to where they were, looking at Mikasa, and then Annie.

"Hi Jean! So the doctor finally let you get out?" Mina asked him.

"Who invited Edward Elric in here?" asked Shay, studying Jean's broken arm and leg.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Shay ***

 **Shay: Nothing beats references. It makes me look smart. Also, is it just me, or does he look kind of cute?**

Jean blinked. "Who the fuck is this?"

"I'm Shay Gilligan. Prom queen, head cheerleader, part-time event organizer and full-time bitch."

"I can see the last one," said Jean. He turned to the girls eating at the lunch table. "Are you fighting with them?"

"What? No!" said Annie. "Unless they don't leave, of course."

"Please," said Rico. "Your days as campus queens are over, Leonhardt. If your pitiful excuse for a boyfriend and your loser club isn't enough proof of that, you hanging out with these dorks are."

"Okay, that's it. Fuck my record." said Annie.

She lunged at Shay and punched her hard in the stomach. She fell on the floor butt-first, Annie towering over her. Natalie and Drake made a move to grab Annie, but before they could, a slice of pizza went flying on their faces.

"Gross!" said Natalie, as she peeled the food of her cheek.

"Oops, sorry," said Hitch, grinning.

"That's it!" said Shay. She stood up and pulled Annie's hair.

"We're going to be in big trouble," said Jean miserably. "Why do you have to do cat fights in here?"

"We won't be in trouble unless we cover it up," said Ymir mysteriously. She looked around the cafeteria and shouted gleefully, "Food fight!"

She promptly threw her open milk carton at Rico, whose uniform got soaked. She looked at Ymir angrily before grabbing the sandwich from Mina's tray and throwing it at the tall girl. Ymir ducked, and the food hit Jean in the face. The cafeteria suddenly went into a frenzy — tarts, pies, and pizza slices went flying everywhere, sticking to the glass windows or splattering across the walls. Mina his under the table while Hitch and Ymir teamed up, throwing food to everyone's faces while laughing like maniacs.

Mikasa sighed. Annie had just shoved Shay to the ground, and the head cheerleader was having a hard time getting up due Annie dumping spaghetti over her head. Mikasa grabbed Annie and the others and they quietly slipped out of the cafeteria while everybody else was still busy.

Finally safe in a secluded corridor, all of them looked at each other: Ymir and Hitch gave each other a high-five while Mina plucked out crumbs still clinging to her hair; Jean wiped mustard off his cheek with his uninjured arm; Annie was smiling slightly and Mikasa dusted off her shirt.

"That was —"

"Did you see —?"

"That was quite a punch, Annie!"

"I can't move my fucking arm. "

They had all spoken at once. Their eyes met, and suddenly, all of them bursted out laughing. Even Jean chuckled while shaking his head.

"You guys are crazy," said Mina, smiling.

"Yeah," agreed Hitch. She turned to all of them. "You guys aren't so bad."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Hitch ***

 **Hitch: None of us wanted to be a part of the Drama Club — hell, I even hated Mikasa and Annie's gang for getting me into this. But I guess despite all our blunders, we could still be pretty awesome.**


	4. Chapter Four

AN: And after a long week, I am finally back! Sorry if it took some time to upload this chapter, but I'm trying my best to manage my schedule, and so far things are going as planned. I am updating my fics per week, so this is nothing unusual. Still, sorry for the wait.

Anyway, thank you to Crazypotatogirl, TameroftheDark2014 and to the Guest who left a review. I'm always glad to have new readers, and welcome to the crazy ride which is Drama Club.

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan.

Chapter Four: Back to Basics

No one was punished for the food fight that happened yesterday, since no one could actually pinpoint who started it all between Annie and Shay's group. Principal Erwin asked all of the students involved to clean the cafeteria instead, under the supervision of Professor Ackerman, who stood at the center of the place, dressed in what Mikasa called his "Health Gear": a handkerchief tied around his head, a face mask, latex gloves, and a good ol' mop. The pupils dared not to laugh at his ensemble; Eren sniggered when he saw the Professor, and he was given two weeks worth of detention.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Levi ***

 **Levi: I am not a clean-freak, or a germophobe, but is simply a clean environment advocate. I want to make sure that I am always healthy, so I buy every product that kills 99.9% of bacteria and odor causing germs. I put half of my salary for that — it is that important. Health is wealth, people.**

Jean limped around the cafeteria in his crutch, wiping tables with a filthy rag. Professor Ackerman gave him a disapproving look, as if being disabled largely interfered with the general cleaning. Connie turned the table over for Jean to inspect, and he drew a sigh when he saw that someone stuck a gum under it.

"The fuck?" he said. "Throw your goddamn gums in the trash, or choke with it until you die — just don't stick it under the tables!"

Hitch laughed. "Sorry, Jeany. You should have told me that a week ago."

Jean turned around to face her. "You did this?"

"Actually, I don't know," said Hitch, blinking. "I don't know how many tables have fallen victim to my gums."

"That is unethical," said Professor Ackerman. He looked across the room. "Hey Jaeger, I still don't see that floor gleaming."

"But I'm trying my best!" Eren protested.

"Scrub it like you mean it!" he said. "And Kirchstein, just because you're injured doesn't mean I'll cut you some slack."

Jean groaned in frustration and went back to work.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Jean ***

 **Jean: Cleaning sucks! I am not made for this. We have maids back home, so I don't know a damn about how people fold their clothes, or scrub the floors, or wash the dishes. The closest thing I did to cleaning was shoving my hentai collection in the deepest part of my closet.**

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Reiner ***

 **Reiner: Seriously, Jean? Animated? You couldn't even handle the real thing?**

"I'm tired," said Sasha. "I'm hungry."

"Here, Sasha," said Armin, smiling. He handed her a cinnamon roll. "You can have it."

"Really?" her eyes sparkled with gratitude. She snatched the food from him and quickly munched on it.

"Armin, that was your lunch." Annie reminded him, as she pointed at Sasha with her rag.

"I still got some," he told her.

Annie raised her eyebrows. Armin scratched the back of his head and said, "Yeah, maybe I got none."

"It's fine," Annie sighed. "I kinda made lunch."

"You mean you cooked?" he asked, surprised.

"Wow Annie, I never thought I'd see the day when you finally become a lady," teased Mikasa.

"Yeah, whatever," she said shyly. She ran to where their bags were and took her backpack. She searched inside it until she found a rectangular lunch box. She went back to her friends and ignored Professor Ackerman's look.

"Here," she said, presenting the food to Armin. "It's my first time cooking, so I don't know..."

"It's fine," said Armin. He took a bite of her homemade casserole. He nodded as he chewed, his face turning red.

"Well, how is it?" asked Mikasa, who had come over and was now looking at Armin expectantly.

"It's good," he said, coughing. He gave Annie a smile. It looked pained. "It's really good."

Mikasa looked unconvinced. "Uh-huh. You look like your dying."

"I do not!" said Armin defensively. He coughed again. His face was totally red now. "A-Annie, what exactly did you put there?"

"Nothing," said Annie, confused. "I followed the cook book step by step. Although I did put in some chili peppers, and sugar, and more chili peppers for some added flavor. You know, to make it unique."

"Armin, would you like some water?" asked Mikasa, concerned.

Armin nodded, then shook his head and nodded again. He tugged at the collar of his shirt and coughed again, this time more violently. Annie gazed at her casserole sadly, sighing, and Armin took note of the way her shoulders drooped. He put a hand to her arm and smiled.

"I'm serious. It's really good. Here, let me finish it," he said, taking the lunch box from her.

Mikasa and Sasha exchanged looks.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Mikasa ***

 **Mikasa: As Jaime Lannister said: "The things we do for love."**

"Arlert, what the hell are you doing?" asked Professor Ackerman when he saw Armin eating with suppressed tears in his eyes.

"Having lunch, sir," he answered.

"More like taking the last supper. What's with the crying?"

"I'm not crying!" he said indignantly.

"Yes you are," said Ymir from her spot in the counter. She pointed her water sprinkler to his face. "Look at you. Your eyes are like a miniature version of the Niagara Falls."

"Are you alright?" asked Annie with concern.

"Fire cannot kill a dragon, fire cannot kill a dragon, fire cannot..." Armin muttered under his breath as he took another bite of his food.

"Who are you, fucking Daenerys Targaryen?" said Professor Ackerman. "Someone please put him out of his misery."

"What's with all the GoT references?" said Jean.

"Water," said Armin shakily.

Mikasa nodded, and she went off to get Armin's tumbler from his bag, but before she could hand it over to him Sasha had already dumped a bucket of dirty water over his head. She grinned, her hands on her hips as she studied her handiwork. Everyone in the cafeteria had stopped to look at her.

"What?" she asked, looking around. "He said he wanted water."

"He did," said Marco from across the room. He winced. "He meant the drinking type, Sasha."

"Oh," she said, meeting Annie's murderously glare. "He never specified which kind." She laughed nervously.

"Oh gods," said Jean, gazing up at the ceiling. "Why put me with these people?"

"Shut up, Jean," said Eren. He walked over to Armin and placed a towel over his shoulders.

Just then, the cafeteria doors burst open, revealing Hange. Her eyes roamed around the room and settled on Professor Ackerman.

"Hey, Levi!" she said, striding over to where he was. "Are you all done here?"

"I am done," said Jean. "So done."

Hange looked at him, grinning. "That's great, then. Levi, can you please excuse the Drama Club? We really need to practice."

"Hmm," said Professor Ackerman. He saw all the hopeful looks the members were giving him. Would have been fun to crush their hopes to a pulp, but he knew the play was important to the school as it was to them. "Fine. Take these shitty brats with you."

"Fuck yeah." said Ymir. "Gosh, I love the Drama Club. My hands are starting to get sore."

After they have been allowed to take showers in the gym locker room after Professor Zoe barged in on the school sports teams, the Drama Club was fresh and ready for a new bout of line-stumbling and cheesy acting.

"Okay, so I realized that we have been so focused on trying to act like the characters, when we don't even know the characters themselves!" said Hange, as they sat on a circle around her. "Which is why I think it would be healthy if we try to internalize our characters first. Like getting to know them. Now I want each and every one of you to tell me what you think about the character assigned to you and what your favorite line is. Ymir let's start with you."

Ymir cleared her throat. "I think Lady Capulet is like every mother we see out there — she just wants her daughter to marry the guy with the most privileges. And my favorite line of hers is "Enough of this; I pray thee hold your peace." It's a more eloquent way of saying "shut the fuck up.""

Hange clapped. "Thank you, Ymir. See? It's not so hard, isn't it? Next up: Bertholdt."

Berthold scratched the back of his head nervously. "Uh, I think Lord Capulet is alright. I mean, he just wants what's best for Juliet. And I don't think I have any favorite lines of his."

"Boring," Connie hollered.

"Well then, Connie, why don't you go next?" said Armin.

"Fine," he huffed. "I will be playing Benvolio. He is cool, he is smart, he is your man. He keeps the others from doing stupid things — which they kind of always do — and he is played by me, so that makes him extra cooler. My favorite line is "By my head, here come the Capulets.""

"Why that?" asked Eren.

Connie shrugged. "It just sounds great."

"No it doesn't," said Reiner. "What the fuck is _by my head?_ "

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Connie ***

 **Connie: It wasn't my favorite Benvolio line. It was just the only line of his that I could remember. Sue me.**

When they had finished saying their thoughts about their respective character roles ("Romeo is a jerk. He is an over privileged kid who falls in love with the first person he sees wearing a skirt." said Jean), Hange had left them to attend a faculty meeting. She handed the reins to Armin, who said that it was a good idea if they throw lines at each other in order to get a good grip of the script.

"O, wilt thou leave me unsatisfied?" said Jean dramatically.

"What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?" replied Sasha.

"The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine," said Jean. He stuck his tongue out. "This is disgusting."

"It's better than your usual flirting techniques," Eren told him. "Maybe if you use these lines on some girls they might actually look past your horse-face and fall in love with you."

"Why you —" said Jean, but Armin stopped him.

"Let's continue," he said. "Sasha, your turn."

Sasha fiddled with her script. "I gave thee mine before — before I, uh — before —" she smiled hopefully. "Before the world ends?"

"What?" said Annie. She studied the script in her hands. "Sasha, you're supposed to say "I gave thee mine before thou didst request it." Why didn't you just read off your copy?"

"Sorry," she said. "I panicked."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Sasha ***

 **Sasha: The truth is, I left my copy of the script at home, and what I'm holding right now is my failed test papers. I hope they don't notice.**

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Ymir ***

 **Ymir: Sasha's not fooling anyone.**

"Okay, Ymir, you're up," said Armin, gesturing to her.

Ymir said shrilly, "So shall you feel the loss, but not for the friend which you weep for!"

Mikasa blinked. "Ymir, that's actually pretty good."

"Christa's been teaching me," she said proudly.

Christa smiled. "I just thought I'd share my acting skills with her."

"That's very nice of you," said Reiner. "Want to teach me, too?"

"For fifty dollars an hour, sure," said Ymir.

"No one's using my sister for personal gain," said Armin. He smiled at Christa. "But it is a nice thing to do."

"Christa is nice," said Ymir, nodding. "She's like the goddess of niceness."

"I think it runs in the blood," Marlowe mused.

"Oh, mighty Arlerts, grant us with your abundant goodness!" said Hitch.

"Not exactly," said Eren, smiling slyly. "Armin's not that nice. Right, Annie?"

She gave him a flat stare. "If you count the time when he accidentally punched you because you tried to sneak through his window and take a picture of us, then yes, he isn't that nice."

"He deserved it," said Mikasa, giving Eren a sharp look.

Eren grimaced at the memory. "That punch was something, I'll give him that, and I didn't even get anything juicy! All that hard work for nothing."

"You tried to take a picture of them?" asked Hannah, incredulous. "For what?"

"Blackmailing purposes," said Eren. "You never know when they'll come in handy."

"Eren, I'll gladly show Professor Ackerman all your pictures with Mikasa just to show you how it's done," piped Armin.

"You wouldn't," said Eren in a hushed tone. "And all you have are pictures of us in the amusement park, or in the diner downtown. They're normal dates."

"Still won't stop him from giving you lots of detention."

"Point taken."

"Haha. Eren's afraid of Mikasa's family," said Jean.

"If you actually dated her, you'd understand," Eren said defensively. "They're like a family of half-Asian war machines."

"I'll tell that to my mom," said Mikasa.

"Better her than Levi. I think I spent half of my school life in detention because of him."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Eren ***

 **Eren: I swear Levi hates me. I don't know why. Maybe I killed him in my past life, or I must have been his mortal enemy in some parallel world, or maybe... I just dated his niece. Maybe.**

"Okay everyone, let's get back to business," said Annie.

Everyone groaned. The Drama Club was back in business, alright.


	5. Chapter Five

AN: AND AFTER WHAT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER, I AM BACK. AND YES, THIS AN WOULD BE IN FULL CAPS LOCK MODE SINCE I AM VERY ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW. YUP, THAT'S RIGHT. MY KEYPAD HAS BEEN ON PERMANENT CAPS LOCK EVER SINCE YESTERDAY SINCE ALL THE MESSAGES THAT I'VE BEEN SENDING TO MY FUCKING FRIENDS ARE IN ALL CAPS. ANYWAY, I REALIZED THAT WRITING FOR DRAMA CLUB WOULD HELP RELIEVE SOME OF MY UTTER RAGE. SO YEAH. SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT AGAIN. I KNOW I DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE, BUT I WANT TO. ALSO, YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. MORE AWESOME THAN THE PEOPLE I HAVE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. LIKE, SERIOUSLY.

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan.

Chapter Five: Teamwork

The practices were going more smoothly now than the past few weeks, but Hange, Armin, and Annie still felt like they were far from reaching their goal to present the best play Rose High has ever seen. It wasn't just the fact that Sasha kept forgetting her lines, or that Franz and Hannah always had to end their scenes with a kiss, or that Christa always felt like she had to sing her dialogue — no, it wasn't that. That feeling came with their agreement that there was one thing missing from their crew, something very crucial and painfully obvious. They were missing —

"Teamwork," said Jean. He sighed in frustration, as yet again, Sasha failed to deliver the right words and the sound effects were a second too late. "We're lacking any kind of teamwork."

"Huh?" said Connie, as he tried to adjust his tights, which had become too snug for his liking. "What do you mean?"

"Look at this. We can't even make one perfect scene," replied Jean. Everyone stopped what they were doing to listen to him. "Something always ruins it. It's either the actors forget their lines, or the props suddenly collapse, or that the music always seem to play at the wrong moments. The equipment and the script aren't to be blamed, though. It's us. We lack coordination and familiarity. If we master those elements, we may just be able to do this."

Annie gazed at him with a thoughtful look on her face. "Wow, Jean. What you said actually makes sense."

"I have my moments," said Jean.

"Start counting them before you run out," Eren told him.

"Shut up, Jaeger."

"Teamwork," said Armin. "Yes, you're right. We're already good with our individual roles, but we have yet to learn how to incorporate all these things into one, great play."

"Right —" said Connie, as he bent down to tug at the end of his tights. "So — how — exactly — do — we — aaaargh!"

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Connie ***

 **Connie: It's not the lack of teamwork that we should be worried about, if you ask me. It's the fucking costumes. These tights aren't called 'tights' for nothing.**

"How about we do some kind of team building exercise?" suggested Mina. "I mean, it could help us learn how to cooperate with one other."

"Not bad," said Marco, mulling it over. "But what kind of exercise?"

"Exercises," said Reiner, grinning. "I want more challenge, man!"

"Alright, exercises," he corrected. "Any idea what they should be?"

Christa raised her hand. "I know! How about we all go to the nearest karaoke bar and hang out?"

"Christa, I love you and all, but no," said Armin.

 *** An except from an interview with Christa and Ymir ***

 **Christa: Aww. And I was hoping Reiner would pay for my songs!**

 **Ymir: You would manipulate him into paying? Woah, I never knew you were like _that_ , Christa.**

 **Christa: What? No! It isn't like that. I mean, he told me he was willing to do it, and I just —**

 **Ymir: Nah, don't sweat it. Come to think of it, we can use his crush on you to our advantage. We can make him pay for our lunches, or make him carry our books —**

 **Christa: _We?_**

 **Ymir: We're a package. Tell him it's either take it or leave it.**

"How about we play a friendly game of basketball?" said Eren. "The sport is basically centered around teamwork, so why don't we do that?"

Mikasa nodded. "We'll be able to learn how to understand signals, body language, and all that jazz. We will also be forced to cooperate with each other, since basketball is a team sport."

"W-what?" said Armin. "But I suck at sports!"

"You suck at anything that doesn't involve reading, Arlert," said Hitch.

"No, he doesn't," said Annie defensively. "Armin is pretty talented."

"Oh yeah? In what ways, Annie?" asked Connie in a suggestive tone.

"If I give you a wedgie while wearing that tights, I'm pretty sure you'd be infertile by tomorrow," Annie told him coldly.

Connie gulped. "No! The Springer family must survive!"

"I thought so."

"Anyway," said Bertholdt, as Connie tried to inch away from the short, blond girl who threatened him. "Do we all agree to Eren's plan?"

"Basketball, huh," said Franz. "I guess it's alright. But since Connie and Eren are in the school's official team, I think it's only fair if we split them up. That way, both teams will have star players on their sides."

"Good idea," said Marlowe. "So Eren and Connie would be the team captains, then."

Eren grinned and cracked his knuckles. "Connie, get ready to have your fucking ass handed over to you."

"Been there, done that. Literally." said Connie, shooting a scared look at Annie's direction.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Annie ***

 **Annie: Yeah, I kind of have a habit of beating Connie up since middle school, but for all the right reasons. The wedgie is just one of my many techniques. Don't get me wrong — I'm not a bully. My ways of joking around with my friends are just... creative.**

"Okay, I think we should start by choosing the teams," said Armin.

"How do we do that, exactly?" asked Jean. "Do we draw lots or something?"

"Nah," said Eren. "That'll take too much time. Connie and I will just choose people to be on our team."

"I don't think that's fair," said Marlowe.

"It will be," he replied. "We'll take turns choosing."

"Fine," said Hitch haughtily. "Just get on with it."

"Wait. We're seventeen. One of us can't play, so the teams could be even."

"I'm out!" volunteered Armin.

"No, you're not," Eren told him. "You're fucking playing, Armin."

"Yeah," Annie agreed. "Mina can sit this one out. She has asthma, and I don't want her to die before the play."

"Thanks, Annie," said Mina.

Armin looked dejected. "Fine."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Armin ***

 **Armin: But I hate any physical activity! I suck at gym class! I always get hit in the face during dodge ball, too. Fuck all these games involving balls and shit. What I excel at are games like chess, or scrabble, or sudoku — you know, the cool stuff!**

"Okay. Eren, take your pick," said Armin.

Eren said automatically: "Mikasa."

Mikasa smiled and stood next to him. Eren shot a smug smirk at Connie. Even if he chose her because she was his girlfriend, no one could deny the fact that Mikasa was a great asset; she was athletic, and not to mention, exceptionally strong.

Connie simply grinned. "I choose Annie."

Annie sighed. "You better choose Armin on the next round."

"What?" said Connie, incredulous. "But he's _so_ not basketball-y!"

"There's no such thing as 'basketball-y'," said Annie. She glared at Connie. "If you don't choose him, you'll face the consequences."

"Sorry, Annie," interjected Eren. He gave her a wide smile. "But Armin, I want you on my team."

"What?" said Armin, surprised.

"Yeah. Welcome to Team Jaeger, man."

"Well, looks like your wish won't come true, Annie," said Connie. "For my next pick, I choose... Reiner."

Eren surveyed the group. "Bertholdt."

"Franz."

"Marco."

"Ymir."

"Christa."

"Jean."

"Thank heavens. I didn't want horse-face on my team," said Eren.

"Just die, Eren," said Jean in a lazy tone.

"Anyway," said Eren. "I choose Hitch."

"Sasha, then," said Connie.

"Marlowe," called Eren.

"And Hannah goes to me," said Connie miserably. He looked at Franz, who had already locked his girlfriend in an embrace. "Please refrain from holding hands or kissing or whatever disgusting things couples do when you're in the court."

"Will do," Franz assured him.

"Alright," said Armin. "All's set. The game would be held some time next week. We'll announce the venue tomorrow. Okay, guys, remember: this is a friendly game. We want to learn how to work with each other, not how to take each other down."

He glanced at the two teams before him, who were now sizing each other up. He noticed how Jean cracked his knuckles while eyeing Eren, and he hoped that they would remember the reason why they were doing this in the first place.

Both teams practiced non-stop for the next few days. When they had told Hange about their idea for a team building exercise, she screamed and said excitedly that she would announce the game to the whole campus. Armin had tried to stop her from doing so, but she would not be dissuaded. By the time the game was about to be held, almost half of the school — mostly Hange classes — had turned up to watch. It was not only the students who had come, though. Principal Smith sat on the bleachers along with Professor Ral and Hange, and Annie had to slap Armin to stop him from panicking. He had seen the amount of people who had come, and he was hyperventilating.

"I'd make a fool of myself in front of the whole school," he kept on saying as he paced across the locker room. "I'd trip and fall and slip —"

"Armin, calm down!" Eren had told him.

Annie had strode over to where they were and said, "I got this."

"Armin," she had called, and when he turned to look at her, she hit her palm across his cheek, hard.

"Ow!" said Armin as he staggered back. "What... The... Fuck... "

"Get your shit together."

"Y-yes, ma'am."

"Alright," said Eren seriously. "Annie, get the hell out of here. We're going to have our inspirational talk."

"Probably bullshit," said Annie as she walked off.

"Your team is what's bullshit!" Eren called after her. He turned towards his team with a proud smile. "This is it, guys. Today we win. Today we crush Connie and show Rose High that Team Jaeger is the best in basketball."

"This seems more about you rather than the Drama Club," commented Marlowe. He nervously tugged at the fabric of his green shirt. They had chosen it to be their team color.

"This is about teamwork blah, blah, blah," said Eren. "I know that. But winning is everything when it comes to sports, you'll see."

"Yeah," said Hitch, grinning. "Let's burn them!"

"That's the spirit!"

"Oh boy," muttered Mikasa. "I have a bad feeling about this

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Eren ***

 **Eren: And Mikasa's feelings prove to be true the minute we step into the court. Fuck her uncle, seriously. He seems to exist solely for the purpose of ruining my life. I swear, it's like every tear I shed adds another minute to his life.**

As the teams walked out into the court, all eyes turned to the small man who stood at the middle of the gym wearing a black and white striped shirt and with a whistle hanging around his neck.

"I want a good and fair game, little shits," Professor Ackerman told them. He gave them a cold look. "Or else."

Eren gulped and pointed at him. "Since when did you become a referee? You're a literature teacher, for godsake!"

He shrugged. "I'm a literature teacher _and_ a referee."

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Foul, Jaeger."

"But the game hasn't even started yet."

"Oh, right," said Professor Ackerman. "That's like my default reply. Sorry."

"We are so going to lose," said Bertholdt. "Levi would be giving us seven fouls each."

"But you can only commit a foul up to six times," said Christa, confused.

"Exactly."

"Alright," said Connie. He took a deep breath and smiled. "Fate is on our side. With Levi as the referee, there is no way we'd lose. Oh yeah, Team Springer will dominate today's game."

"Winning because of the referee and not because of our talents means nothing to me," said Franz. "We might as well have cheated."

"But we didn't buy Levi or anything!" said Connie defensively.

"Shut up," said Annie. "Just make sure we don't make a fool of ourselves out there. I don't want to give the school paper any more potential articles."

"Yeah," agreed Ymir. She glared at the gaggle of girls standing by the sidelines; Shay gave them a wave and a wicked smile. "I don't want them making fun of us."

Sasha nodded. "It's fine. All we have to do is shoot the ball in the hoop, right? Easy."

"Right," said Connie, eyeing her carefully. "Remember that, okay?"

A whistle sounded, and the entire gym erupted into cheers. Eren and Connie nodded toward each other before going to their respective benches. Professor Ral waved her hands in the air and shouted, "You can do it, guys! Let's go!"

"Which side are you on?" Hange asked her.

"Both. I support everything the kids do."

"Aww. And I planned to make a bet against you. Now who can I squeeze money from?"

"This is interesting," said Principal Smith. "I never heard of any club hosting a sports event before, much less the drama ones."

"It's because these kids have a very unique way of thinking," said Hange proudly. "Did you know that last week, Christa suggested that we set Romeo and Juliet in modern day New York where they sing and rap while in the subway?"

"Oh. And did you do it?" he asked curiously.

"We did. It was super cringe-worthy. Want a video?"

"No thanks."

"Now let's announce each team's starting players," said Oluo, a senior student who was in charged of the announcements. "For Team, uh, what the fuck? Is this name even allowed? Anyway, for Team Jaeger Is The Best — for chrissake, you could have shortened it — we have for center position, Bertholdt Hoover. On power forward, Mikasa Ackerman — wow, she's hot — along with Marco Bott. And for the guard positions we have Christa Arlert — this team is seriously packing the pretties — and Eren Jaeger. Yeah, yeah, hooray. Now shut up, I'm going to announce the other team's first five."

He cleared his throat and shuffled some papers he was holding. "For Team — really, what's with your fucking names? For Team Springers Yield To No One, we have Reiner Braun as the center, and at the forward positions we have Franz, uh — just Franz, I guess — along with Jean Kirchstein. On guard we have Annie Leonhardt — shit, she looks scary — and also on guard, Connie Springer. That's all. Let's get this shit over with."

Reiner and Bertholdt met at the center of the court for the jump ball, and Professor Ackerman stood between them, the ball in hand. He glanced at Mikasa and smiled slightly, but he quickly shifted his gaze to her boyfriend and frowned. He lifted the ball and tossed it into the air amidst all the clapping and cheering.

"And Reiner gets the ball!" said Oluo into the microphone. "He passes it on to Connie, who zigzags his way across Team Jaeger Is The Best's defense — lord, what a long name. I think I'll just call you Jaegerbest. Anyway, he goes in for the basket, but Mikasa stands on his way! He passes the ball to Franz, who passes it to Annie — she dribbles, steps back, releases — and three points to Team Springer Yields To — know what, forget it. Three points to Springyield."

The crowd erupted into a frenzy of excited shouts and screams. Annie smirked at Eren and raised three fingers to the air, mocking him.

"Eren looks pissed, and I can't blame him. A fucking girl buried a three in the first minute of the game," said Oluo. "Anyway, Mikasa is in possession of the leather, and she dribbles around Connie, playing for time. She runs — but Reiner blocks her way. She hands it over to Christa. Christa goes for the basket, and she doesn't even flinch when Reiner leaves Mikasa and goes up to meet her and — what the actual fuck? He let her shoot the ball. Like, he did not even defend. And two, easy points to Jeagerbest."

"What the hell, Reiner?" shouted Connie angrily.

Reiner smiled apologetically. "All is fair in love and war, man."

Oluo continued on with his commentary: "And Annie has the ball. She surveys the field and passes it over to Connie. He gives it to Jean, who tries to fend off Eren's defense — looks like they're talking — and they're still talking — and seriously, the fucking shot clock is about to end — and now they're shouting, and pushing, and — Referee Ackerman signs for a technical foul on Jaegerbest."

"What?" said Eren, surprised. "The hell did I do?"

"You were shouting profanities," replied the referee.

"So did Oluo," he said.

"That asshole's an announcer, not a player."

"This isn't fair," said Mikasa. "Why didn't you give Jean a technical foul? He was trash talking, too."

"I can't call what I didn't see," said her uncle.

Mikasa gave a frustrated groan. She held up two middle fingers in the air, and the spectators went wild.

"That's it. Go to bed. And no meals for you, young lady."

"This isn't our house, uncle."

"When we get home, then."

Oluo laughed. "Only Professor Ackerman can ground people in the middle of a basketball game."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Levi ***

 **Levi: What can I say? I'm a fucking legend.**

The game went on like that, with Eren's team constantly getting fouls from Levi; but they were able to keep up with Springyield because of Christa. She was easily the highest pointer on their team due to Reiner's half-hearted defense. Connie's team was still in the lead, though. Annie was unstoppable, and even Ymir was able to score when she was put in to replace Jean.

"Oh gods, it's the last two minutes!" said Professor Ral nervously. "I wonder who's going to win."

"Springyield is up 64 to 60," observed Hange. "Eren has graduated — Levi made sure of that. That imp really needs to work out his issues. Hitch can't throw a decent shot even if her life depended on it, and Marlowe got injured the moment he was put in. Their only player now is Armin, and god knows if he can even lift the ball. Jaegerbest is in a clear disadvantage here."

"You're right," said Principal Smith. "But I'm pretty sure Leonhardt wouldn't play that hard against her boyfriend. Also, Springyield opted to let Braun sit this one out, probably because he kept letting Christa get away. It's a smart move, I admit, but also detrimental. They need his defense in this crucial time. Kirchstein's also out after he got six fouls like Jaeger. They can't let Hannah in cause she keeps on clinging to Franz, so they're only way of scoring is to pass the ball to Leonhardt."

Eren called in his team for a last huddle. "There's only a minute and forty seconds left, and we're still down four points. I want you all to do your best since I won't be playing now," he looked at his best friend. "Armin. You can do this. You're our secret weapon."

Armin pointed to himself. "Secret weapon?"

Eren nodded. "Just flash that disarming smile at Annie when she's about to shoot the ball. Got it?"

"That's the fucking plan?" said Armin incredulously.

"It's brilliant," said Hitch. "I don't know why, but you're kind of like Leonhardt's kryptonite."

"That sounds so cheesy," said Marlowe, wincing.

"You all get the point."

"I'll try," said Armin.

"And this game's last minutes are about to go down!" said Oluo in an excited voice. The crowd cheered. "Springyield is up four points. On the floor for Jaegerbest are Mikasa, Christa, Marco, Bertholdt and — are you fucking kidding me? I guess you have no choice. And Armin, folks."

Armin rubbed his hands nervously. He saw the cheerleaders laughing on their spot at the sidelines. Eren gave him a thumbs-up and mouthed, _stick to the plan._

"And for Springyield we have Annie, Connie, Franz, Ymir and Sasha."

"Let's finish this up," said Professor Ackerman as he handed the ball to Mikasa for the inbound.

"And Mikasa rushes in! Look at her go — she's as fast as lightning!" Oluo gave the rundown. "She sidesteps Annie's defense and jumps for a right-handed lay up. Ymir jumps up to block her — but she switches hands just like that! Mikasa reduces the lead into two with a quick left-handed lay up! What a move!"

"Yes!" cheered Eren and Jean.

"Traitor," Reiner told Jean.

"Hypocrite," Jean replied.

"And now Team Springyield tries to hold on to the leather and waste time. Connie continues to dribble as the shot clock winds down — he makes a fake as the shot clock turns to 5 five — he gives it to Annie in a backhanded pass, and she readies herself for the last blow —"

"Hey, Annie!" Armin called out to her. Annie turned to him, and he graced her with the best smile he could muster. "The square root of 1, 936 is 44!"

"Huh?" she stammered, confused. She hadn't even noticed the shot clock turning zero.

"And Springyield loses time!" said Oluo. "Seriously, that was a cunning move on Arlert's part. And now I know one more thing to answer during my math test. Anyway, with only twenty-two seconds left in the game, Jaegerbest can either go for the overtime, or grab the win!"

Mikasa glanced at the score board:

 **Springyield - 64**

 **Jaegerbest - 62**

 _We can do this_ , she thought.

"And the twenty-two seconds start as Mikasa passes the ball to Christa. She's heavily guarded by Connie, so she has a hard time throwing it over to Bertholdt, who's waiting under the ring. Christa is trapped now — she surveys the court for anyone — the shot cloak is at ten — she's going to travel if she keeps moving around — Seven, six, five — and she passes it over to Armin!"

"What?" said Armin, as the ball eas thrown to his arms.

"Shoot!" Mikasa yelled at him.

 _Three_... _Two_...

Armin released the ball with all is might. The entire gym watched as the ball sailed into the air as if in slow motion. Eren stood; it was definitely in line with the hoop, so there was no way it would miss, right?

The ball flew, and the sound of the quarter clock ringing seemed far away. It did not matter if it had ended; Armin had released the ball before it, so the shot should count should it go. The ball rolled in the air — and promptly fell on the floor before it could touch the ring.

"Uh...?" said Armin.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" shouted Eren.

"Springyield wins!" announced Oulo. "My gods, what a huge blunder that was."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Mikasa ***

 **Mikasa: Well, there's that. We lost, but I think we got what we wanted. After the game, all of us suddenly seemed more comfortable around each other, and we started to appreciate one another's talents. All is well... except for him.**

 **Eren: [shouting in the background] What the fuck, Armin? You were ten feet away from the hoop! That's like a free throw, and yet you still can't release the ball far enough to even touch the goddamn ring?** **Are you — Waah! Help! No! Alright, I'm sorry! No — you did great, Armin — I was just joking — Annie, no! I — aaaargh!**

 **Hitch: Dead body found! I repeat, dead body found backstage!**


	6. Chapter Six (1)

AN: After 542930383 days, I am finally back. I am _totally_ neglecting Drama Club, I know, but don't worry, I am in no way discontinuing it! Life just got in the way, that's all. Anyway, since I am a ball of inspiration and energy right now (I am listening to all the Shingeki no Kyojin OPs while writing this — who wouldn't get inspired by that?), I might upload another chapter tomorrow! Anyway, here's chapter six!

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan.

Chapter Six: Rose Queen 2017, pt. 1

"No," said Armin firmly. He groaned loudly as a few books fell from his grasp and slid across the hall. "Shit!"

Christa watched as her brother picked up his things, and she busied herself with tying her hair into a ponytail while waiting for him. She looked at her reflection from the small mirror stuck on her locker door, and she remembered her grandfather's words: _You look beautiful. Just like your grandma._ Christa had been called beautiful by many people, but her grandfather's words were the only ones that mattered to her.

 _That's why I will use this beauty to help him,_ she thought.

Once Armin had gathered all of his books, he returned to his already stuffed locker, biting on his lip as he tried to think of a way to arrange his things. Christa, frustrated with how long it was taking him to put off their conversation, decided to help.

"Give me that," said Christa. She took some of his stuff and shoved it into her practically empty locker.

"Thanks," he replied. He turned to her. "Where were we? Oh yeah — no. I won't allow you to join."

"What?" said Christa, surprised. "But Armin —"

"Christa," he said gently. "I thought I already told you that I don't want you working? Grandpa and I can pay the bills. We want you to focus on your studying."

"But it's not work," she replied. "It's a pageant! It's the annual Rose Queen parade. Armin, the first prize money is grand. It could help with grandpa's medication."

He studied her, and he can't deny the fact that his sister really was stunning. She got their family's golden hair and blue eyes, and more importantly, she had inherited their mother's sweet and kind nature. Armin knew that his reasons for not wanting her to join was selfish, but he couldn't help it. Of course, he couldn't tell her that; it was too embarrassing.

Armin looked at her softly. "I'll think about it, alright? Now hurry up. First period starts in five minutes."

Christa nodded, and he went off to his class, leaving her there, pouting and looking defeated. She sighed and turned around, wondering of a way to convince her brother to let her join. Of course, she could always ignore his command and compete, but somehow it wouldn't feel right. She respected his decisions, and his approval had always been very important to her.

"Hey, what's with the long face?" asked Ymir, when she had sat down next to her in class.

"My brother wouldn't let me join the pageant," she replied.

"Shocking," said Ymir sarcastically.

Christa turned to her. "You mean you knew he would say no?"

Ymir nodded. "Of course. That's what big brothers always do."

Christa groaned. "Ugh. I wish I had a way to convince him that this is worth it."

Ymir hummed. "There is a way, you know."

Christa perked up. "How?"

"You won't convince him," she answered. When she saw Christa's confusion, she added, "We'll let someone else do the talking."

 *** An excerpt from an interiew with Ymir ***

Ymir: Ymir always saves the day. My brilliant ideas are so precious, I should sell them. Maybe I'd start an advice giving site or something. Ahh. I could almost smell the money.

"Armin."

Everyone in Armin's class turned around to see Annie standing by the doorway, still wearing her gym clothes, which clung to her body like glue, making her curves stand out. She blew a strand of hair away from her face and pulled at her gym shorts. Armin noticed some of the boys give murmurs of admiration, and Armin would have smiled if Annie hadn't been marching over to him with like an angry mom. She ignored everyone's stares as she grabbed Armin by the arm and started dragging him out of the room.

"Annie?" he said. "What the hell?"

"Ooh," someone said. "Someone's in trouble."

"Annie, you're ripping my arm off!"

"Leonhardt? What —" said Professor Ral, as she almost collided with the two when she entered the classroom.

"Sorry, ma'am," said Annie. She stopped and turned towards their teacher. "Will you please excuse him for a moment?"

Professor Ral looked confused, but she said, "Okay, I guess. Just bring him back alive."

"Will do."

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Armin ***

Armin: With the way Annie was pulling at me, I was pretty sure I'd go back in class missing a few body parts. And I'm pretty sure no one would give a fuck, since they know what Annie's capable of.

"Annie? What are you doing?" said Armin, as she led him to the back of the building. He was surprised to see Mikasa, Mina, Ymir, and Christa waiting there. "You guys..."

"Armin," said Mina dramatically, "how could you?"

"Huh?"

"It's Christa's dream! You shouldn't hold her back from her dreams!"

"What?"

"Mina's right," said Mikasa. She looked disappointed. "I thought you'd be more supportive."

"Yeah," said Annie, and he was surprised to see her angry. "You should be helping her, not pulling her down."

"Eren and I thought you wanted what was good for Christa," said Mikasa accusingly. "And we think this is a good thing for her."

"Woah, wait a second," said Armin. He put his hands up. "I think I know what this is all about." He turned his eyes to his sister, who sat under the shade of a nearby tree, her head down. "Christa?"

"I didn't force them to do this, I promise!" she said. She looked up at him. "But, Armin... I told them about my plan, and they — they told me that I should go for it!"

"Of course," said Annie. "We will help you every step of the way!"

Mikasa nodded. "You'll win that pageant."

"Yeah," said Ymir. "If you join, that is."

Armin rubbed his face. He should have seen this coming. Girl code and all that jazz. He felt like a cornered animal — where was the guys when you needed them? He looked around him at Mikasa and Annie's threatening looks, to Mina and Ymir's expectant faces. He guessed this really was a big deal and that Christa wouldn't be dissuaded. He wanted them to understand him, but instead of explaining his side, all he did was nod his head and sigh.

"Alright," he said finally.

"What did you say?" said Christa.

"I said alright. I'm giving you permission to join Rose Queen." He saw her face light up, and his lip twitched upward. "Now can I please go back to class?"

She jumped up and hugged him. "Thank you!"

He chuckled. "Seriously, though. Was all this necessary? Just so you know, Annie was holding my arm so tight, I'm certain a few bones broke."

"You deserved it," said Annie, though she looked guilty. "Come on, I'll walk you back to class."

Armin and Annie walked in silence. She noticed the way his shoulders drooped, and she tentatively reached a hand out to gently poke his cheek.

"What's up?" she asked. He simply smiled and shook his head. She said suspiciously, "Why didn't you want Christa to join, Armin?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, well, it's kind of hard to explain."

Annie shrugged. "Try me."

He stopped and said quietly: "When we were kids, Christa always called me "big brother". She would always say those two words whenever she addressed me. It's pretty funny, actually — I was no means big, and we looked so alike we were practically twins. She used to follow me around, holding my hand or asking me to give her a piggyback ride. We were inseparable. She once made a drawing of me back in kindergarten, you know. Apparently, her teacher had asked them to draw a superhero, and she drew me."

Annie smiled at the thought. She could imagine it pretty clearly, little Christa showing her work proudly to Armin, who smiled and praised her. Somehow, the image brought a warm feeling to her. She felt like she knew where this was going.

"Anyway, I treasured that drawing. I knew that Christa made that because she believed it was true. I was the one who bandaged her hand when she accidentally picked up a glass shard; I was the one who washed her hair after a long day of playing outside; I was the one who read her bedtime stories every night. I replaced our dead parents," he continued. "The point is, I feel like in some ways, I thought of her as both my sister and my daughter. Sounds weird, I know, but you know what I'm saying. I don't want her to share our burdens. I want her to focus on her life. I know she has good intentions, but when she told me that she wanted to join the pageant to help grandpa out, I felt like... I felt like my role as her brother was —"

"Forgotten?" asked Annie.

"No. More like, unnecessary. I realized that she's all grown up now. She can make her own decisions, and I feel like she won't need me anymore," he said. He smiled at Annie sheepishly. "It's stupid, I know. Just forget it."

She took his hand and squeezed it. "It's not stupid. I think it's very adorable."

"Adorable," repeated Armin. "You never use the word 'adorable'."

She laughed. "I guess not. But really, it's not stupid at all. And I still think she sees you as her hero, you know."

"And also," said Armin, once they reached the door to his classroom. "I really hate the idea of some men ogling my little sister."

"This is it," said Christa. She pointed at her reflection. "This is the day."

She was backstage with Mikasa, Annie, Mina and Ymir. They had labeled themselves as her personal prep team, and they had worked on her makeup and overall look for the past two hours. Christa was wearing a powder blue dress Annie had given her ("Seriously, my dad doesn't know me at all," said Annie), and her hair was flowing down her back in ringlets. Actually, all of her clothes for the event came from Annie, who said that they were all gifts from her father, who brought them from the countries he was assigned to for his job. Apparently, he hadn't noticed her not wearing any of them.

"Thanks for the dress, Annie," she said.

Annie waved a hand. "It's fine. It's not like I want them. And besides, I wouldn't want anyone else to have them."

"Christa, don't move," Mikasa ordered. "I'm going to put on your lipstick."

She sat still just as a voice said, "Knock, knock!"

"Door's closed, Connie," said Ymir.

"No, it's not," said Connie, walking over to them.

"Why did you knock, then?" countered Ymir.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Connie ***

Connie: Ever since I met Ymir, my jokes always seem to fall flat. She has a way of ruining things.

"Everyone, you're here!" exclaimed Christa.

"Of course," said Reiner, slapping a hand to Bertholdt's shoulder. "We came here to support you."

"Right," said Ymir. She moved closer to Christa as she glared at Reiner.

"You look so pretty!" said Sasha.

Christa smiled. All of them were there: Eren, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, Bertholdt, Marco, Hitch, Marlowe — even Franz and Hannah. She felt tears gather at the corner of her eyes, and she sniffed.

"Don't cry!" said Mina. "The mascara will run down your face."

Christa composed herself. "Sorry, it's just that... I'm so grateful to you all."

"It's nothing," said Marco. "Power of friendship, right?"

"What is this, a fucking anime?" said Hitch.

"I think this is the part where our background sparkles and everything," said Marlowe.

"Will you look at this," said a sickly sweet voice. Shay Gilligan sauntered over to Christa's dressing room, her large earrings shaking as she walked "The circus is back in town."

"This is the part where we beat the villain up, right?" asked Jean.

"Oh, you're the cute guy," said Shay, glancing at him.

"Excuse me?"

"Anyway," she said. "I just came here to say that winning first runner-up isn't so bad, so don't feel sad when I finally get the crown."

"As if you'd beat her," said Mikasa. "Christa will rub your face on the runway."

"Or I will. Literally," said Annie dully.

"Really?" said Shay, and she legitimately looked scared. She walked out. "Just a friendly reminder: Christa, there's always next year. See you!"

"How nice," said Eren dryly.

"Christa!" Armin called out. "Sorry I'm late. Grandpa said he couldn't come — he has to rest — but he wishes you good luck."

She smiled. "It's okay. I already have a lot of people watching me, anyway."

He gripped her hand said, "I know you can win this."

"Thanks," she replied. She gave him a wide smile. "Really. Thanks a lot."

"Five minutes," someone from the staff shouted.

"Come on!" said Franz. "Let's grab some seats."

"Alright," said Christa. "See you later, guys!"

"Good luck!"

"You'll definitely win!"

"Fuck yeah! Go rock them!"

"Welcome to the annual Rose Queen pageant," said Hange. She swept her hand over the huge banner that announced the pageant name. "I'm Hange Zoe, and I will be your host for tonight!"

"And I'm Levi Ackerman, her co-host," said Levi flatly. He straightened his tie. "Yipee. I'm so excited. It might not seem that way, but really, I am."

"Don't mind him, he just lacks some sleep," said Hange cheerfully.

"I do not." Levi replied, unsmiling.

"Yes, you do."

"I do not."

"Judges," a stage crew whispered to them.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Levi ***

Levi: I don't want to do this, but Hange dragged me into it. And the pay was good enough. Also, I was going to get some tokens, which included a basket of cleaning products. That sealed the deal.

"Right!" said Hange loudly. "Judging today's competition would be first and foremost, Mayor Darius Zackly."

Everyone clapped as Zackly waved at the crowd from his place at the judge's table. "Zackly in the next elections!" he said, unabashed. "Zackly? Exactly!"

"And with him, the principal of Rose High, and the winner of Rose's Best Eyebrows five times in a row, Mr. Erwin Smith."

"Dammit, Levi, don't add anything to the introductions," said Erwin.

"And to complete the panel of judges, we have the editor-in-chief of the local newspaper, The Red Herald, Mr. Dott Pixys!" Hange finished.

"It's pageant time, so it's time for a drink," said Pyxis, as he chugged down from a flask he held.

"Check this out," said Reiner. He unfolded a banner he made, which read, _I Want Christa to Have My Babies!_ in big, block printing, with little hearts and stars drawn crudely in the background.

"It's... creative," said Marco uncertainly.

"I'm so nervous," said Armin shakily. "What if she trips, or her skirt flies up, or aliens invade tonight —"

"Armin, for fuck's sake, calm down," said Annie.

"There are no alien invasions tonight, I promise," said Eren. "Relax man, and just watch all the pretty ladies. The swimsuit competition would be wicked — ahh! What the fuck, Mikasa! Argh! You sunk my eyeballs, goddamit!"

Mikasa gave him an unconcerned look as she put down her two fingers, which she had used to poke his eyes.

"Will someone please get him out of here," said Levi tonelessly, pointing at Eren, who was still writhing in pain. "He's being too loud."

"You're the worst host!" shouted Eren.

"He's really getting annoying," said Levi.

"Your niece blinded me!"

"Well this is entertaining," said Pyxis. "This calls for a drink."

Hange coughed into the mic. "Anyway, let's start the competition! Ladies, come on stage!"

Christa clenched her fists and took a deep breath. She thought of her grandfather, who still worked hard despite his age, and her brother, who had always been there for her. She saw her friends in the audience, and she felt exhilarated.

 *** An excerpt from an interview with Christa *** **Christa: Time to kick some ass.**


End file.
